Shadow

Screaming

I stood
Screaming
Standing amongst a crowd
Of strangers

Just a few minutes ago
Though the memory
Was fading fast
I was sure
That just a few minutes ago
I was safe

But now
As I stand
Screaming
Unintelligible sounds
I could remember no words
Only the sound
Of a scream

All around me
On the crowded beach
There were people

But none of them
Did I know
None of them
Look even vaguely
Familiar

I screamed again
And a lady comes
She was beautiful
But still
I don't know her
So I screamed
The only sound
I knew

She asked me
Between screams
A question
I couldn't quite understand

I tried to listen
But she was drowned out
By the sounds
Of the screams

I concentrated
As best I could
She asked me
The tall woman (her name was Candice)
If I was lost

My response
Was another scream
And then
A nod

The people all around
Were watching
I wanted someone to help
But I am scared
So I scream
I scream

I don't remember
What happened next
But I do remember
The feeling of fright
Looming and large
As fresh today
As it was
Six decades ago

Whenever I hear
Whenever I see
A lost child
I remember
And inside
All I can do
Is scream

Last Meal

A life of rage and fury
It would surely end the next day
No more taste of blood
To the monstrous villain’s dismay

So when it came the time to choose
The last meal that I would enjoy
I asked for a cut of rare steak
A treat for this grown lost boy

A salad, potatoes, and milk
Rounded out with the freshest of fruit
A meal for this man to remember
On a plate that’s a dark as my suit

Never

Attractiveness of never
   spilled from the dark sky
     pale blue walls
        of a hallway that never ends...

Lost in the silence
    the soundless wails of death
       finality of life
          hoping for a healing of love...

Relieved and oppressed
    in the ancient wells of doom
        secretly wanting to die
           but for an ounce or two of spite...

A stranger in a familiar home
     crushed by the final nails
         palms red and dripping
             hands that reached out in vain...

Burnt in the angry swells
      of responsible ebbs, needful flows
          ocean of misery, horizons of strength
                unable to find an instant's rest...

The silent screams continue
     the voice can never speak
        the horrid betrayer's presence
             sweet song, love's last knell...

Attractiveness of never
     attentiveness of loss
           relentless quest for silence
              sweet death will never come.

Hardened

Hardened by life’s travails
She wonders why the path is rocky
Memories of the lessons
Litter the otherwise pristine way

Tempted by the burdens
Carried by sons and daughters
Forever she is bound
By her own apron strings

Woman of God’s promise
Selfless until self was lost
Searching for purpose
On the back of a worn mule

Attached to the heartache
Unable to see the waiting knight
Drowned in a world’s sorrows
Separate from heaven’s delight

Vacant

Where was the joy?
Where were the smiles?
In an instant, I wept.
For a lifetime, I cried.

Those folks behind that window, lost and yet at rest, seemed to have a touch of the surreal, and a light mist of dread.

Where was it heading?
Where was the joy?
The train of dark memories,
On a track of dark fate.

The children sat on the laps of what appeared to be grandmothers, yet strangely, they bore no resemblance. Wondering after the truth, I looked into a few sets of eyes.

Where was the light?
These people were void.
Nothing seemed right.
Where was the light?

I noticed that the children looked, on the outside, quite normal, and yet, as surely as I tell these words, I knew there was something missing.

Where were they going?
These empty lost shells.
Where were their souls?
Was the train bound for hell?

Perpetual Gaze

Hauntingly, they all stared at me
As I trespassed into their comfortable domain
I was hypnotized by the lack of passion
A room full of empty chairs
Their vacant gaze sliced through me

Could they know what I was to do?
Was the fear I perceived really emanating?
Or was it, in truth, my fear of facing them?

At a loss for thoughts
I nearly forgot even to breathe
As they sucked the life from me
With the constant slicing of their looks
With the sting of their empty minds

Where had I come from?
What was my purpose in being here?
I thought for an instant to scream
Asked yet one more question
What was it to scream?

Like the blackness of the deepest void
Their dark eyes pulled from me
Every bit of life force
Every bit of breath
Every last thought

I thought I heard a sound as the darkness flooded
Then silence
Utter silence

Unstilled Mind

Insane meanderings
Always nagging at this unstilled mind
Crazed moments
In the closet of dark thoughts

So many moments
Leading up to this morning
So many plans
Leading to a lost destiny

The knife was my father’s
Fitting, that he butchered his quarry with it
Today, this destined day
I would become the butcher

I took the knife from the drawer
Placed it on the counter
I stilled my thoughts
Put them back into the dark closet

These are the conversations
Of a darkened mind
Unexposed to light
These closet conversations won’t occur

Rational and irrational
Sane and insane
Light and dark
Sheathed and unsheathed

The thoughts, the conversations with self
The words unsaid
The light unshining
In a darkened closet

I placed the knife back on the counter
I put the thoughts back
Into the dark closet
Of my dark mind